Yoga may very well be saving my life. You may already know this, but I find myself prone to bouts of existential dread. Anxiety has been my baseline since I can remember. I came to yoga originally to lose weight and deal with chronic pain, but what I am discovering equates to so much more.
What I find in yoga is what I sense I was looking for in religion for so many years; a community,
an alignment of my values, a spiritual home. It has incited a resuscitation in me. I have never felt such grounding and permission to roam simultaneously.
I am learning so much; I am evolving so much.
I used to be all jagged edges and protective posturing. I used to think that to be wild I had to be reckless. I am learning that my wild has more to do with my radiance than my recklessness; that every posture I shape myself in emits a little more of that being I want to live into.
Who knew a mat could contain such vastness; who knew I could? I used to find myself measuring the worth of my existence by the tasks I completed, or the space I took up in the world. Now, I measure myself by breath, and compassion, and stillness.
I still come across hard edges. I still recognize anxiety as my default emotion. I am learning to soften into this experience. This, not the hardening, is what reminds me that I am alive.
I am resilient here. I am compassionate here. I am intuitive here. I am surrendered here.
The soil is so rich here; I may just plant myself and grow a long while.
Namaste,
KAT